Who Am I … I Didn’t Know, Until This Happened!

Who am I?

Who Am I

People have asked this existential question since Adam and Eve. The rock band The Who, asked a similar question, but posed it a bit differently: “Who Are You?”

Most of us reflect on this question as we evolve over the course of our lifetimes. I’ve certainly taken my share of aptitude tests and profiles: Myers-Briggs (I’m an INTP, by-the-way); the Watson-Glaser™ II Form D: Profile Report; the True Colors Personality Quiz (Orange is my “color”), etc.

Having analyzed and pored over many years of, um, thoughtful self-evaluation, I’ve discovered, for the first time, the answers to the question, Who am I. No, none of the aptitude/personality profiles, or even “constructive comments” from MLB (My Lovely Bride) have come close to determining who I am.

Once and for all, Buzzfeed Quizes have conclusively explained every mystery – and more – about me. Things I didn’t even know, myself.

And because I’m a giver, and you’ll want to learn about your “true self” as well, I’ve included the links to each of these enlightening evaluations.

Who am I? Here you go:

1. The fruit I’m most like:

Hmm … astonishingly, I hadn’t given this much thought, so this intrigues me.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/joannaborns/what-fruit-are-you#.esQO73nXO
I got: StrawberryStrawberries are tiny berry bosses. When the strawberries come in, it’s serious. SERIOUS FUN. Is there anything more fun and flirty than a strawberry? Everyone loves them. But not everyone can have them, especially when they’re not in season. You’re IN DEMAND.

The only thing I have to say is, “SERIOUS FUN?!?” Oh, and tiny berry bosses is pretty funny, too.

2. What I should have been named:

I’ve actually liked my first name – Michael. Could there have been one better suited to me?

http://www.buzzfeed.com/joannaborns/what-should-your-name-actually-be#.pn8vNJwDv
I got: Filizabeth
You’re Filizabeth because you’re an amazing person and your name should reflect that.

Wow! I don’t have any words for that name. Where, and what in the world is that all about?

3. Which season I would fall in love:

Spoiler alert: I fell in love with MLB in November.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/emmamariemusic/which-season-will-you-fall-in-love-11sp6#.hjNNzL2GN
I got: Summer
Summer lovin’s gonna have you a blast. You’ll start the summer off as friends, competing over who has the worst sunburns and swapping cool summer jams, but before you know it you’ll be head over flip flops in love with each other and living out “Grease”-inspired fantasy of your dreams.

Survey was just a bit off. If it would have been “which season would you LIKE to fall in love” then yes, summer. :)

4. My most annoying office habit:

Well, have I ever been annoying at work? Perhaps, a time or two.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/tabathaleggett/what-is-your-office-thing#.dbd8kwNb8
I got: Sneaking off without saying goodbye
You know how it goes. You’ve gone to the pub with your colleagues after work, you’ve had one too many drinks, and it’s time for you to go home. But you can’t be bothered to say goodbye to everyone so you do a stealthy exit. Keep it up: Social pleasantries are waaaaaay overrated.

First of all, I don’t have any-too-many drinks with colleagues after work. And, I’m actually kind of big on social courtesies, especially at work. Typically, I give a shout out to anyone left in the office as I’m leaving.

5. My personality type:

I’m fairly transparent and relatively easygoing, with a hint of mischievousness.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/danmeth/ink-blot-test#.viw5ejOv5
I got: Chilled-Out
You are just a chilled-out soul with breezy and lackadaisical mellowness, so unworried by the world’s tides that you drift like a sea turtle toward the warmest beaches with the coldest cervezas. It’s always a good time for a laid-back chill session, my man. The ink knows, brother, the ink knows.

Pretty dead on with this assessment. Boo ya, Buzzfeed Quiz!

6. What other people find attractive about me:

This is flat out embarrassing, and I wouldn’t have a guess there.
I got: Your Adorable Awkwardness
You’re quirky in the most adorable way, and your kinks are one of the reasons people love you. You have your own unique way of doing things, but that’s what makes you awesome. Your eclectic nature and special ways are way sexier than you’ll ever know.
YEP, this is truly embarrassing and awkward.

7. My ACTUAL personality type:

Because just knowing one’s personality type isn’t enough, one needs to know their ACTUAL type.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/javiermoreno/whats-your-actual-personality-type#.mkvOnE79O
I got: Introvert
You’re a deep thinker and highly intelligent. You find satisfaction in spending time alone or only with a handful of people. You’ve always drawn your motivation from and find nothing more fulfilling than a deep, intellectual conversation.
Although sometimes this seems unlikely, I am a shy person deep down. I’ve learned over the years how to open up and tread through social situations. Frankly, I prefer smaller settings – one-on-one, or a few close friends. To me, social media seems more intimate than a large gathering.

8. My favorite color:

Who Am I, Favorite Color
Honestly, I thought it would come up green, or possibly blue. Or more likely, my favorite color: PLAID, of course.
I got: Red
Red suits you well because you are passionate, warm, and positive. You have strong ambitions and unmatched determination. The red fire of desire burns strong within you.
This was quite a surprise. I’ve never been a fan of red, but interestingly, maybe that’s changing and I don’t even realize it. I bought a red truck in November. Fascinating. Buzzfeed may be on to something there. Though they did miss the whole plaid thing. (Note: Thank you to Kristy K. James, Author, for pointing out my own omission of plaid!)

9. What’s my sixth sense:

My mad mathematics skills??
I got: Sensing when Netflix has a new TV show
It’s no secret that you love two things: your couch, and your shows. Hence your hidden sixth sense of being able to tell when a new show you NEED to watch comes out. Good for you, and let us know what shows to watch next.
Nailed it, oh mighty quiz masters! MLB and I love us some good television. Not as big on Netflix, but we have a DVR full of shows that we regularly watch. Yes, we’ve been known to try out a few new ones each season, as well.

10. What color is my aura:

I have no idea on this one. See how enlightening these quizzes can be?!
I got: Yellow
You’re very intelligent and approach problem-solving from a rational, reasoned perspective. You can be prone to workaholism, and your withdrawal into work (and away from social activities) can lead to periods of stress and sadness. Highly observant, you’re a careful selector of friends, and those few relationships you do cultivate will be very rewarding. You have tastes that others might consider eccentric.
By George, that sounds pretty accurate almost all the way around. Change out intelligent with common sense, and I think that’s on the money. Noteworthy, about the withdrawal into work (and away from blogging). :(

11. More right-brained or left-brained:

I should be part both. I really love aspects of both sides of the brain – creative and reasoned.
I got: Equally right and left-brained.
You’ve got the best of both! You’re a dreamer but also find the balance with the left brain’s more logical side. This keeps you out of too much trouble, while also indulging in your more creative impulses. It must be awesome to be you!
Buzzfeed, you know me well!

12. Where should my next vacation be:

Resort, Pool, Swimming Pool, Tropical, Vacation, Hotel

Someplace like this picture is what would be fantastic. Not to mention walking another hundred feet and being able to be on the beach.
You got: All-Inclusive Resort
You’re laid-back and basically the easiest person to travel with ever. A vacation for you is all about sitting back, relaxing, and letting everyone else do the work. All you need is a warm beach, a nice drink, and luxury all around you. Try the Le Blanc Spa Resort in Cancun, Hermitage Bay in Antigua, Hayman Island retreat on the Great Barrier Reef in Australia, or Mii amo Spa in Sedona.
I’m starting to think these quizzes aren’t so far off, after all! :)

Have you ever taken any of these on-line quizzes? Care to share your results and their accuracy??

Obsessive Compulsive (OC) Blogging – Two Years Later

It’s been more than two years since I wrote my first real post about blogging. I was pretty naive at the time. Looking back, I find it pretty interesting to see how I was dead-on in some ways, and in others not so accurate.

blogging

I thought I’d take a peek at what I wrote, and then mash it up into something more coherent based on what I’ve learned.

The Obsessive Compulsive Guide to Blogging

If you’ve already started a blog, you’ve been through these steps in your mind, on paper, or on your screen. If you’re like me, you might be a little bit obsessive or compulsive, or both obsessive AND compulsive, on the mental health side of the life equation – or as I call it: two for the price of one.

Note: I have not been clinically diagnosed, contrary to what you, or members of my family, may think. Nor do I judge you, if you, my fellow bloggers and readers, are as loon-crazy as I am.

My Five steps to successful blogging:

1. The beginning
Everyone has to start at the very beginning, and for the OC this is a world of tremendous consternation (like we don’t have enough rattling around in our heads, right?). What should I be blogging about?  I thought about this for days, and then weeks. It consumed me at first. So many possibilities. I asked friends and family. I researched other blogs, but didn’t know enough to know what I could do differently, or better, or even as well as someone else.

What did I know? Did I know enough? Did I know ANYTHING? Should it be funny? Serious? Long pieces or short ones? Heck, back then I didn’t even really know what a post was!

What I learned: With blogging, you just have to jump in there. You can go from Miley Cyrus-Hannah Montana to Wrecking Ball-crazy, later, as you develop your voice, but at first, get your feet wet any way you can.

2. Naming the blog
I thought the name had to be perfect. It had to be. I remember wondering if the name of the blog would add or detract, be memorable, or be easily forgotten. And it was important to me to know if people would like the name.I didn’t want to get down the road in a couple of months – when I thought I’d have millions reading my blog – and have to change it.

What I learned: It truly didn’t matter. I had a blog name to begin with, but changed it – to my name – after a few months. Believe it or not, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be to make the switch.

3. Public or Private?
Did I want my family and friends to know I’m blogging and writing this stuff … possibly about them?? (See #2 above, which started the cycle of worrying about the name of the blog again). Maybe I should have made it available to my friends only … ?

And then I thought it should be more widespread! Otherwise, how will the masses – as though there would be “masses” – ever experience these fantastic, amazing compositions?? That made that decision fairly simple.

What I learned: Unless you’re really nervous about people close to you reading your writing, it makes more sense to simply keep it public. Otherwise, maybe journaling is the best bet.

4. Write first post
With the first three steps nailed down, I was off to my first post. It. Has. To. Be. GREAT – or so I thought. After three weeks of agonizing over every word, I thought it was pretty good.

Having spent every waking moment, when I wasn’t working, poring over every sentence … I was certain the words, so carefully chosen and crafted, flowed like honey. Just the right amount of spirited wit and seriousness. So creative and interesting. I was sure that post would set the blogosphere on fire, and possibly even go VIRAL!

What ACTUALLY happened: As I review my very first post, it was pretty basic. And also VERY short. Now that I think about it, I’m not sure why it took me so long to um, “craft” it.  LOL

5. Wait patiently for feedback
The last step – I thought – was opening up the post, and in a matter of a few short hours, I’d have several people out there commenting. Instead, after pulling up the post over and over for hours, and then days, I had … drumroll, please: ZERO comments flood in. My first indication that I might not make a fortune blogging.

Unfortunately, I also came to realize, it’s like that show “48 Hours”: If the feedback hasn’t come in during the first 48 hours, it isn’t coming in! *sound of big bubble bursting*

What I learned: It takes time to build a community of friends when you blog. But if you comment on other blogs, and support other bloggers, you will start to see that same love in return. And that’s been the best part of the whole process.

*******

What steps did you follow then, or do you follow now, and what have you learned?

Old Spice Goes Stalker Mom

As we watched the NFL playoffs over the weekend, my wife and I were confronted – no, more like mugged – by the new Old Spice commercial “Smellcome to Manhood.”

Old spice, smellcome to manhood

Seriously, “Smellcome to Manhood?”

Come on, now. I’m flashing back to when my kids were very young, and they were developing their sense of humor: “It’s a joke, dad, get it??” Um, yes, “Smellcome to Manhood,” … I’m trying to get it.

For those of you who haven’t had the privilege of watching this, you’re really missing “something” … something twisted, something bizarre, and something that’s possibly the creepiest television commercial ever.

Apparently, marketing execs for Old Spice feel there are countless minion-mamas out there just “helicopter” parenting their boys-to-men all the way through to adulthood. Here are a few stills from the commercial:

“Beaches” isn’t just a movie.

Face it, moms out there – you’re all secretly wanting to pop up out of the sand on your son – and his date- at the beach, right??

Old spice, smellcome to manhood, mom on beach

Sideshow Mom

I’ve seen this SO many times: Moms dangling from the back of their sons bumpers, and of course, sliding along in a laundry basket. This is the only way you can show you absolutely can’t let go of your son … or apparently his laundry.

Old spice, smellcome to manhood, mom on car

Mom – the slithering serpent.

… and why not. Check out the pic of Old Spice Boy’s mom, squirming out of the couch like a snake. What you don’t get to see in this still shot is dear ol’ mom sliding across the floor and then getting all up onto her loveseat. The ad team must have been on serious hallucinogens when they come up with that idea. It pegs about a 15 on a one to ten scale “Crazy Meter.”

Old spice, smellcome to manhood, mom in couch

Chucky, Freddy Krueger, Hannibal Lector, and now Creepy Janitor-Mom.

What. The. OM Me!?!? Are you kidding me?

In a grotesque turn, this strange looking man below, wheels around, and BAM! … mom face appears – able to stalk her son, incognito. WOW. Marketing genius. Is it too late to change my career? I think I can do this marketing thing.

Old spice, creepy janitor mom

It’s interesting: Frequently you have a split, with some people loving, and others hating, a commercial. I’m not so sure that’s the case with this one.

Either way, after all this Old Spice freakishness, I have a new appreciation for the old Aqua Velva after-shave commercials. Retro, anyone?

*****

If you haven’t seen the commercial, here’s the link:

What do you think? Marketing masterpiece, or massive failure?

Before I die I want to …

How would you finish the statement, “Before I die I want to                 .”

It’s the start of a new year and an excellent time to reflect on what we want to accomplish in 2014. We dream of the potential of 365 new beginnings. Perhaps we even take it so far as to project the conversation we might have at the end of this year – clicking off all those goals on our “to-do” list that have been achieved.

But … what if we knew we didn’t have all 525,600 minutes this year? Would we do things differently?

Before I Die I Want to _____.

Candy Chang posted that statement on the wall of an abandoned house in New Orleans as she was coming to terms with the loss of someone close to her. So many people posted on that wall within one day, that it took her completely by surprise.

Soon, through word-of-mouth, communities were wanting to start walls in their neighborhoods. It would explode into a worldwide art project, and eventually the experiment was documented in a book.

before i die, book

It’s the ultimate statement that forces us to reflect on simple, shallow, complex, and deep emotions. We ponder what our needs, wants, and desires are all at once. And uniquely, no two people would fill in that blank in the same way.

When I Googled “Before I Die” here’s a sampling of what popped up:

Before I die I want to …

– watch a movie with my parents in the cinema.
– stay with the person whom I love.
– change somebody’s life.
– be proud of myself.
– have a baby.
– meet Drew Barrymore.
– speed on the Autobahn.
– forgive someone for something considered unforgivable.
– be content.
– take a trip around the world.
– write a novel.
– realize how special I am.
– go whale watching.

It’s interesting to read what someone else wants to do before they die, and even harder to answer that yourself. I’ve kicked this around in my head, as I’ve researched and thought about this post.

My Statement

Before I die I want to live fearlessly.

Here’s a video of Candy Chang’s TEDTalk. Well worth a listen:
http://www.ted.com/talks/candy_chang_before_i_die_i_want_to.html

******

How would you fill in the blank? Before I die I want to                           .

7 Strange, But True, Christmas Albums

Christmas albums are a great way for “artists” to connect with their fans beyond their regular music. Who doesn’t want to hear that David Bowie and Bing Crosby version of The Little Drummer Boy? I, for one, enjoy that now-standard Christmas song.

But, boy-oh-boy, set down your glass of milk before you get a glimpse at some of these … shall we say, classic  Christmas albums:

1. KFC and Christmas. What goes together better?

Imagine how that round-table conversation went:
Marketing exec: Hey, we can get Henry Mancini and Harry Belafonte if we could just get Colonel Sanders.
Producer: We could put the Colonel on the cover. We’ll sell meeeellllllionnss! *read in Mike Myers Dr. Evil voice*

Colonel Sanders, Christmas albums

2. American Idol contestant, William Hung. with an oddly titled holiday LP.

I wouldn’t have believed it without seeing it on Amazon with my own two eyes – which I may now have to gouge out.

William Hung, Christmas Albums

3. Funk up your festive season with Afroman.

A picture’s worth a thousand words.

Afroman, Christmas Albums

4. Okay, 80’s fans. Here’s your George Michael, WHAM! fix.

You all are laughing, but you know you loved that hair back then.

WHAM! Christmas albums

5. What says Christmas better than “Crime-A-Billy?”

Dare I say, “nothing?” Even better – it’s “The Strange Tones!”

Strange Tones, Christmas albums

6. We got “Physical,” and “Grease” was the word!

How could you possibly pass up ONJ and John Travolta – our two favorite “Johns!” Loving the understated black t-shirt on JT.

Olivia Newton John, Travolta, Christmas Albums

7. Yep, I’m bringin’ it:

The “Greatest … of All Time.” None other than Dr. Demento!

Dr. Demento, Christmas  album

There you have it – seven of the strangest Christmas albums ever recorded. You wanted them, and my crack research team scoured the internets, mail order, and even a few dumpsters to bring you the very best (or is it worst?) Christmas albums out there.

You’re most welcome.

I leave you with one more:

Vyking, Christmas albums

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What strange Christmas albums have you seen that my “team” missed, but shouldn’t have?