We were both feeling like tonight might be the night. No, I’m not referring to a new episode of Castle, or The Closer. I’ll let your imagination wander.
Why did there have to be 15 pillows on the bed? This is a question that has haunted man since the first cave bed had dozens of stones littering the headboard (was it called a head-stone, then?).
Does your bed look like this?
After removing the plethora of pillows, MLB and I pulled back the comforter. So fluffy, with a satin cover and down-filled pockets. The color was a light charcoal, with a hint of cream subtly woven through the top piece.
We liked luxury and the feel of a great material against the skin.
Layered beneath the comforter, was a smooth-as-butter 1,000 thread count, single ply sheet in a romantic shade of smoky quartz.
But it didn’t stop there.
Sheet number two was nestled next. What was happening? How many sheets does one need on a bed, I thought. But what a splendid taupe color it was.
Coordinated perfectly with the comforter and the top sheet, this was one of MLB’s nicest color groupings in the entire house. Had I been married to Martha Stewart all along?
I was feeling anxious. Ready to quench the burning desire that we both felt.
I ripped back the taupe sheet, and,
No, it couldn’t be. There was another sheet. In a platinum, this cotton layer was shimmery and slick to the touch, but quite comfortable.
There were a lot of sheets.
***
The alarm clock droned in the background. I shook the cobwebs and realized I had been dreaming.
“Cate, I had the craziest dream.”
I described the bedding, the colors, and the sexual tension of the dream to her.
She interrupted me, “You just experienced Fifteen shades of grey.”
***
Well, what do you have to say about that? hehe
Sounds like you were unpeeling the layers of a story in your mind with lots of symbolism. But maybe a cigar is just … nah.
Good one, JQ!
Tease.
So has Cate read Fifty Shades of Grey? Just wondering…considering you’re in the LDR and all…
Hey that’s a good point. I don’t THINK she’s read it, but now I’m gonna have to ask.
HAHAAAA HAAHA HA! Ohhh that’s excellent mj!!! Might even be your best post yet!
Thank you, Becks. Means a lot coming from my favorite book person.
That was HILARIOUS ! wow.. I hope she hasn’t read that book !
Hi Shara, great to see you on the blog.
I don’t think she’s read it, but I have to make sure. We’re about 500 miles apart at the moment, but talk every day, so I must ask her.
You rascally rabbit…i mean, MJ!
Guilty as charged.
This post was perfection! Loved it!
I’m speechless after your comment. Thank you so much!
This is what happens when you get married. They want sheets on the mattress. I do have 2 pillows though. And my teddy bear.
Nice that you still have the teddy bear.
Hi,
These are obviously the type of dreams you have when you are so far away from each other. 
Loved the post, and it did bring on a smile.
It’s really fictitious, I was going for the play on words. Well, maybe the distance has something to do with it as well.
Funny as hell!
Hey, thank you Ted. If I can make you laugh like that, I’m very satisfied. Hmm, maybe wrong choice of words. Anyway, you know what I mean. Big thanks, my friend.
oh the cheese in that video. Love that song, but man, it’s showing it’s age now. great post
Thanks Jennifer. Rod has evolved over the years, hasn’t he?
I knew it!
At the very first line itself, I thought to myself, “MJ’s messing with us.”
Thanks for the laugh. Although, reality is no laughing matter.
Kate
You’re too quick, Kate. Was hoping I’d fool you.
And you’re right, reality is no laughing matter.
LOL.
Thanks Naomi.
You little devil, you. Made me laugh.
Glad I made you laugh, Judy!
Posts like this one are such fun to write, aren’t they? Very funny.
It’s amusing to take something so culturally popular (or should it be popularly cultural?) and spin it a different way. At least it’s amusing to some of us, hopefully.
Hahahaha….this is too funny, mj! Love the last line!
Thank you, Judy. Didn’t know if I could pull off keeping the mystery until the end, or not.
Funny MJ. You missing your honey?
I am for sure. Surprised me that it came out in the writing. Didn’t really pick up on it till after I read Mikalee’s comment.
Ooooh saucy MJ! Love it! Are you planning on reading ’15 shades of grey’?
I would love to see a book review from you! LOL.
Don’t think I can read that one. It’s pretty hot right now, that’s for sure.
You may have to wait quite a while on that review. haha
I was waiting for the twist but didn’t figure it out until you delivered it– perfection!
Oh, thank you so much Dana. That’s such a compliment coming from one of my favorite bloggers.
50 shades of grey is quite the literary wonder hahahahaaha
Don’t tell me – you have it on your “Best Books” list??
I’m not surprised!
A clever Bugeater you are… nice post, my friend!
Thanks, Lori. Was I able to pull you along till the end?
At least you had dreams with her in them.
I must read this book everyone is talking about.
I’ve heard it’s quite racy.
HA! Hilarious. I love of a good punch line even more than an ‘obscene’ amount of pillows.