I shudder to think what search terms this title will draw, but the topic is screaming, “Write about me!”
So … WTH!
We all have a body part or body parts that we aren’t happy with. Guys don’t seem to be quite as hung up on this, based on my experience, but they probably have at least one physical thing they would like to change.
As your mind wanders,
I begin the description of my least favorite body part:
1) It protrudes ominously when looking at it in side view.
2) This part is difficult to cover effectively.
3) Men usually prefer them shorter, rather than longer.
4) Of all the body parts, it’s the one most easily broken.
Yes, it’s the nose.
You see, I have a proboscis that makes Jimmy Durante’s look normal – his nickname was The Schnoz, after all.
Whether I was born with this Super-Sniffer (for all you Psych fans, out there) or it was my environment that caused it, I can’t be sure. Lord knows I was smacked on this body part so many times from the time I was born until my early 40’s. Mainly from all the hits, and being hit, in sports.
Regardless of how it came to be, I’ve been saddled with nose nicknames since that fun time known as “Junior High School.”
Here are some, um, memorable monikers my classmates gave me:
- Mona-nose – cute and so original, since ‘Mona-‘ as a prefix went with EVERYTHING. Some examples: Mona-Geek, Mona-Hand, Mona-Tone. See what I mean.
- The Schnoz - unfortunately, Happy Days was popular and this was “haha funny,” like The Fonz.
- The Beak
– Toucan Sam – from Froot Loops cereal fame. Thank you, Sam!
- Hook – for the hook nose. Broken one too many times.
- Honker - maybe it was a little bulbous.
Women tend to be quoted most often about what they feel about specific body parts:
“Are my boobs too big/too small?
“This dress makes my hips look too big.”
“Oh, I never wear horizontal stripes – they make me look bigger.”
“Look how long her eyelashes are. Aren’t they beautiful.”
“I wish my legs looked like hers.”
These are just a few of the statements I’ve heard growing up with four sisters, being married for 20+ years, and raising a daughter. I’m sure some are popping into your head right now, like the dice in that little bubble in that old game, “Trouble!”
Oh, what the heck – I’m insecure, so I have to ask:
Does this blog make my nose look big??
After all, size DOES matter, right?
Have you ever had a body part, or parts, that you would like to change?