"It's like taking a nap on that little rug when you were in kindergarten."

Plaid Hater Tries to Run Down Man. Don’t Get Mad at Plaid!


plaid, tartan, scotland

If this were the 80’s I’d say, “Plaid is Rad!”

I’ve been a card-carrying member of Plaid Wearers United (PWU), Chapter #1, for more years than I care to mention.

Maybe I’ve been channeling my inner lumberjack, or it could be that my Irish heritage is so closely linked to the Scot’ish (said with Mike Myer’s Scottish accent) – I’m not sure.

Whatever the case, “Plaid is not a fad” for this tartan-wearing dude. I sported the same plaid flannel jacket for so long that MLB implored me to give it away and make room for the next one. Which I did, by the way.

For those of you who share my love of plaid – don’t meekly tilt your head down in shame – proudly raise your hand … and then be entirely appalled at the horror you’re about to read.

To set up the story, last week this subject heading popped up in my email inbox from MLB, and I was compelled to open it immediately:

“This is fodder for a post, for sure!”

I thought, this must be great stuff for MJ Monaghan, or she wouldn’t have mentioned it.


This is the headline of the article MLB had sent me:

Plaid-hating Marin man pleads guilty to assault

(Link to story: http://www.mercurynews.com/crime-courts/ci_21391684/plaid-hating-marin-man-pleads-guilty-assault?source=inthenews)

What the HECK is going on in Northern California???

Sure, the economy is in the dumper, we have a VICIOUS election campaign going on, no one can get a job (thanks for the reminder), and then THIS travesty occurs??

Here’s a paragraph straight out of the story from The Marin Independent Journal:

“Anderson was arrested July 23 on suspicion of driving on a Tiburon Boulevard sidewalk and nearly hitting a pedestrian in a plaid jacket. The pedestrian jumped out of the way, and when police stopped Anderson’s car down the road, he suggested he drove at the man because he found his jacket offensive, police said.”

plaid, tartan, jacket

I say, Chap, do you find my jacket offensive?
Whoa, slow down, dude, you almost hit me!


I d-d-don’t even know where to, what the … I’m just SICKENED by this.

“… because he found his jacket offensive.”

If we live in a world filled with people who hate plaid, I’m not sure where we’re headed as a country, as a society, as …

I can’t continue.


My dear, dear readers:
Seriously, how does this make you feel?

Does it make you want to watch a movie?
“The Good, the Plaid, and the Ugly”
“It’s a Plaid, Plaid, Plaid, Plaid World”

I leave you with this quote:
“Once you can accept the universe as being something expanding into an infinite nothing which is something, wearing stripes with plaid is easy.” Albert Einstein


  1. Anonymous says:

    Maybe OK table cloth but a suit ?

  2. I have never been tempted to run someone down because of what he or she happened to be wearing. I’m going to claim this has nothing to do with the fact I don’t drive. Plaid is nice! Yay, plaid! Fuscia stirrup-pants with lime green embroidery, however….

  3. In a sad world where it’s common for people to hate others because of the colour of their skin, their religious beliefs (or lack of), their sexual orientation, their politics – is it really surprising that plaid would create such outrage? Or gingham. Or denim. Or tweed. . . .

    Where I live, plaid is synonymous with western. On the occasion I wear it, I’m scoffed at for breaking my cardinal rule – no cowboy gear! I just say, it’s not cowboy. It’s plaid…

    I love plaid. There, I said it. Don’t run me over.

    • I’m not around a lot of cowboys since we live close to the ocean, but we do see a fair amount of plaid here. It’s pretty popular with we young people – not to be confused with “wee” young people. Ha.

      I’m so glad you love your plaid. Let it fly, proudly!

  4. I love this!
    Offensive clothes are everywhere, but this is a whole new approach :)

  5. Also, I quite like tartan (as we call it)

    • I honestly would wear it every day if those around me could stand it.

      Not sure why I like tartan so much. May stem back to a Sears “no iron” shirt I always wore as an adolescent. It was so soft and colorful. Had a certain 60’s look and feel. Woops, it was the 60’s. :)

  6. I am on the fence regarding plaid, but would never run someone over for it! Heavenly days. What is this world coming to! 😉

  7. I’m only now comfortable with wearing plaid again. Every single hand-me-down I got as a kid was plaid, from my eldest sister who loved it. I still can’t bear the sight of green plaid.

    But I won’t shoot anyone, I promise. Pie throwing may be involved, though.

    • Oh, I feel for you. Getting the hand-me-downs was prevalent with my four sisters.

      I was the second oldest and did get some of my brother’s clothes, but we pretty much thrashed them to oblivion.

      I’m glad you’re getting back on that “plaid horse,” and that you will limit it to pies instead of guns. I totally approve of that message. :)

    • Hey, me too, Elyse! Plaid must have been big back in the day. My mom would get matching dresses for my 2 older sisters, then I’d get to wear BOTH until they wore out. Still having plaid, smocked-dress flashbacks.

  8. Whew! So it’s okay for me to start mowing over the guys who wear their waistbands around their knees (because that style seriously offends my eyes). I thought people would think I was really weird if I started doing that. :)

    Okay, so plaid is cool…ABOVE the waist. In fact, I frequently wear one of my dad’s old plaid shirts in the winter, along with two my brother gave me…that I think are quite pretty (and is probably why they’re in MY closet, and not his). Dad’s is a super ugly shade of green, but I don’t care. It was his, and so I wear it. Well, over tee shirts…going for that layered look, you know.

    Plaids, IF worn below the waist, should ONLY be in the form of shirts or kilts, and NEVER as slacks. Because let me tell you…EVERY butt…male or female…looks big in plaid.

    That said, plaid is no reason to run someone over with your car. There are only two…TWO…reasons to take that action. The aforementioned waist/knees issue…and plumber’s cleavage.

    • I’m not a fan of “sagging” pants either. Looks so uncomfortable.

      I can go with you on PANTS that are plaid – although I think plaid golf pants are pretty cool. However, I’m a big fan of plaid or madras shorts with a solid shirt. Do those shorts make my butt look big? I don’t think so, but I don’t look there at all. hehehe

      I’m glad you’re wearing your brother’s, and of course your dad’s shirts. That’s awesome.

      It’s also good to know that you have standards on when you’ll actually take to the car for retribution. 😉

      • Hmm. Apparently my ‘H’ and ‘K’ switched places on me. I mean plaid skirts are okay (sometimes). Maybe you should wear golf skirts… LOL…okay, I’ll admit that plaid golf pants and shorts…on a GUY…are okay. I plead the fifth on whether they make their butts look big or not…

        Yes, I definitely have standards regarding my car (technically a van…but a cool van). I’m not going to risk dinging it up for just any fashion crime. :)

        • Okay, that makes more sense! Yes, plaid skirts definitely have an appeal. Can’t believe you took the easy way out with the fifth. :)

          Glad the van won’t be subjected to just any fashion offense!

  9. My mother lived in Pendleton plaid–she said they were classic outfits and would never go out of style. It’s just as well she didn’t live to see this day.

    I think plaid has its place. I love Black Watch, and still have the long Black Watch cape that I word as a teen, although I use it for costumes, mostly.

    I also kept one of my mom’s plaid pantsuits, which my daughter wore one Halloween when she dressed up as Pee Wee Herman. But there is nothing like the sight of a fit man in a kilt, as my sister told me many years ago after seeing a youthful Glen Campbell do a guest appearance on a variety show in traditional Scottish dress.

    The man who tried to run someone over because he was offended by the plaid would have found some other person or reason or way to vent his anger at the life or the world or whomever. It could just as easily have been the next owner of a newly styled poodle going out for a walk, or a waitress who served Diet Coke instead of The Real Thing.

    Interesting and fun post, mj.

    Let them wear plaid! Life is too short, mj, not to wear what you like.

    • I’m a big fan of Black Watch, which is pretty close to what my jacket was made of.

      Men in kilts seem to be pretty popular with women, probably for the reason someone else mentioned in another comment. :)

      You’re probably right about that guy doing something to anyone, for whatever the reason.

      Yep, Naomi, let them eat cake and wear plaid!

  10. Apparently the driver believed that Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid. Thus the attempt to mow the plaid wearer down….

  11. Hmm, poor guy wearing the plaid but I don’t blame the drivier…just acting on strong impulses, I guess!?!
    Plaid is comforting to see in the bedroom…ya, know? hehe…:)

  12. Hey, I love plaid! Well, maybe not in a jacket, but kilts are sexy as hell! My hubby and I go to the annual Ren-fest every year and he ALWAYS wears his plaid kilt. Heck, he owns several now. Question is, when you see a man in a kilt, it makes a woman wonder what he has on underneath–if anything at all…Yeah, I could definitely go for plaid! “The Good, the Plaid and the Ugly”….geez, you’re funny as hell, MJ!

    • Why am I not surprised that you are a kilt lover, MM? And I’m sure you’re certainly not alone in your “wonder.” :)

      See, so many great uses of plaid.

      Glad you liked the post. As you know, it’s tough to do humor and even harder to do it effectively. I appreciate the feedback from someone who does it well.

  13. Almondcake says:

    I too am a card carrying member of PWU Chapter #1. I find that preppy plaid beats out country plaid hands down, although each has its place. As my dear old dad raised me to love and wear plaid (to the point that I was nicknamed “the plaid girl” in jr. high), so too do I raise my own children to do the same… :-)

    • Hey Almondcake (aka, “the plaid girl”), great to see you here. Sounds like your “old dad” was either a wise guy, or a wiseguy. 😉

      So great to hear that you’ve passed along the wonderful plaid tradition to your children. That is SO the right thing to do.

  14. The jacket is fine, but plaid pants have got to go. No one can pull them off. Well, that would be the best thing really.

    • Love that play on words, MM! Yes, the pants do have to go, except sometimes on the golf course.

      As Richard Pryor used to say, “The golf course is the only place a white man can dress like a pimp, and get away with it.” I think he was thinking about plaid pants during the 70’s. :)

  15. I might stare at someone wearing something unusual, but I don’t have rules about how to dress. I think everyone should wear what pleases them. Really, what kind of people are we to make rules about how people should dress?

    I think a person might have to have some psychological issues to want to run someone down over wearing a plaid jacket.

    • Oh, that person definitely had some issues, didn’t he?

      You are far too compassionate and caring to force your views on anyone else, my friend. I’m with you on not making rules on how people should dress. Besides, fashion changes so quickly anyway.

      I’m sticking with my timeless plaid. You know, every few years it comes back in, so I never have to let go of my plaid. :)

  16. Hopefully Anderson will take more kindly to the orange jumpsuit he will be wearing in prison.

  17. I’m not at all surprised by this story. To me, that’s the saddest thing of all.

    • I have to say, I was not surprised, either. I just want to know where all this “crazy” came from in the last 30 or so years. It’s certainly not getting better.

  18. Have you ever heard of the Bay City Rollers, MJ? Did they ever reach your shores?


    With an upbringing including them, as well as a plaid school kilt, it is hard to love the Plaid. But, for you, MJ, anything.

    • Oh my, Kate, I totally forgot about them. I was 15 when “Saturday Night” came out. Loved that song.

      Wow, that picture is the best! Makes me even prouder to continue the plaid tradition. hehehe

  19. Judy Berman says:

    How about Steve Martin’s “Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid”?

    About the news article, it’s scary that someone thinks death is the answer for anything they object to.

    • I’m a huge Steve Martin fan, and that is one of my favorite SM movies. I almost included a take on that movie title in the heading.

      It is very scary, Judy.

  20. Plaid has that bulls-eye thing going on. You know, a grid line, X the box-here psyche. I’m guessing the would-be victim was relived it the run-down wasn’t personal. Think how badly he’d fell if someone was using a car to club him because they hated him. No…they just hated his jacket. big relief.
    Fortunately, they don’t make those fluorescent orange prison uniforms in plaid.

    • Barb, I think you’re on to something with the plaid prison uniforms. Especially for this joker! He deserves to be all “tartaned up.” hehe

      That would teach him, wouldn’t it? :)

  21. Haha! This post is hilarious, all you quips are awesome.
    I just can’t believe someone would do that! Although maybe it’s like the ‘I don’t like Mondays’ phrase. Maybe the guy had a wife and she cheated on him with a guy who always wore plaid. That’s all I can come up with because I LOVE PLAID TOOO! I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW ANYONE CAN DISLIKE PLAID AND KILL SOMEONE FOR IT. BLASPHEMY! O_o

    • See, you’re always thinking in terms of book plots, aren’t you Becky? 😉

      I like where you’re going with the cheating dude in plaid. That could be your novel right there.

      So grateful that you love plaid, too. I suspected there was something intrinsically good about you – now I know, it’s the plaid. :)

  22. Anonymous says:

    I’m a fellow plaid-lover and it truly breaks my heart that such a one as myself would be run off the road for sporting that perfect pattern… It’s a bloody shame. Ah, the vile world we live in.

  23. Michael, this is one of your best! And it would be totally hilarious IF I didn’t have a sneaking hunch that there’s some reality hidden in the flip sarcasm. Unhappily, I can believe that some total %@# might just veer off the road to try to hit someone who he thought was not up to his sartorial standard. Sigh.

    • P.S., I love plaid. And paisley.

    • Thank you so much, Joanne! Unfortunately, the criminal reality of this report was so hard to believe. The guy must have been on something, though the article doesn’t mention it.

      You mentioned paisley – haven’t seen much of that around lately. Should be coming back soon, eh?

  24. We seem to use our personal-offense meter for justification for all sorts of offensive actions.

    Regarding, moving old clothes (plaid or not) out for the new, I just delegate them to goat barn cleaning duties.

    • Yes, Oscar, people are using just about anything for an excuse to lash out at someone. It’s pretty crazy.

      I did something similar with my old clothes – relegating them to yard work duty, or garage cleaning. Except I hardly ever go into the garage anymore. :)

  25. I too do not like that plaid pant. I had one. But I did not wear it for once. But yes, I do not find it offensive also. A person should be given that much freedom. I hope I am right, Mj. :)

  26. Plaids my friend, are still rad! haha

  27. I say! I never knew so many words rhymed with plaid. Good work, ole chap! Though this was a really funny post, it is also terrible. I’m glad the rad plaid jacket wearer is unharmed, or it’d be real sad.

  28. I do not feel
    plaid is bad
    When I wear plaid
    I am glad

    Um, that’s about the extent of my poetic talents. Just trying to say that I agree with you, MJ. :) For crying out loud, if you’re going to pick a style to hate, why not those sweatpants with the words on the behind? Or, have you seen these: http://allday.today.com/_news/2009/09/30/4378264-jeans-that-wink-when-you-walk-cute-or-creepy

    Plaid is timeless, classic and cheerful. I hope your new jacket gives you many more happy plaid-wearing days!

    • You are a gifted poet, Melissa. :)

      Oh my, I had not seen those winking pants. Now I’m gonna be haunted by those images of owls and clap boards.

      Yes, let’s stick to the classic plaid, instead.

      I have to go wash my eyes out with soap now to get that “winky jean” image out of my eyes.

  29. Jodi from Heal Now and Forever says:

    Was your coffee cup always plaid, or did you photoshop it?

  30. While I don’t advocate actually hurting people because of their fashion choices, some of the outfits folks wear make that solution tempting. Very tempting.

  31. John Robinson says:

    My wife doesn’t like me in plaid shirts, but so far she hasn’t driven over me in the driveway. You even have a plaid COFFEE MUG!

  32. I love the Einstein quote, MJ! Can’t believe that somebody could hate plaid so much, though. Tsk, tsk– what is the world coming to?


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